When Sarah became pregnant for the first time, she was frightened. The baby was not her boyfriend’s, and she desperately feared for her safety and that of the baby’s father if her boyfriend found out.
With what seemed like no way out, she had an abortion — an experience so traumatizing she never wanted to have it again.
After the abortion, Sarah struggled immensely with guilt, and despite an abusive partner and toxic relationship, thinking it would make things right, she got pregnant again.
Sarah would spend the next six-plus years raising her daughter as a single mother, a time that Sarah shared was difficult and full of trauma.
That’s why when she found herself pregnant again in a similar situation, she was once again terrified.
“Although this time was with different partners, those same soul-chilling fears came flooding back,” Sarah shared.
Despite both men saying they wanted the baby to be born regardless of the scenario, she couldn’t fathom the possibility of being a single mother of two. So, despite being haunted by her first abortion, Sarah found herself contemplating whether it was the best decision.
“This time the solution [that] the enemy placed in my mind as the ‘best for all of us’ was to abort,” she said. “I had convinced myself that it was the best answer and would ‘free’ all of us from this unplanned and unexpected life-altering change.
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Terrified, Sarah believed in that moment that God had abandoned her because of her past sins, and she took the first abortion pill.
Chemical abortion consists of two pills, mifepristone and misoprostol. Mifepristone blocks progesterone, the hormone in a pregnant woman’s body necessary to sustain pregnancy. Misoprostol, taken a day or so later, then causes her to go into labor and deliver her deceased child.
Sarah informed some friends of her decision to proceed with a chemical abortion and although they were supportive, she felt regret.
“I felt this deep sadness within me — deep sorrow and a knowing that I’d done the wrong thing,” Sarah confessed. “Even though I knew God still loved me and always would, I felt a deep aloneness and disappointment.”
She did an internet search: “What happens if you took the first abortion pill then change your mind?” And that’s when she discovered the Abortion Pill Rescue® Network (APRN).
Sarah described the experience of receiving support and comfort from the APRN nurse on the hotline.
“I called the 1-800 number with tears stuck in my throat and running down my face and a deep longing in my soul to hear good news, saying there was at least a chance,” she said. “The love I felt through the phone from the woman on the other end of the line completely soothed my soul and put me at ease.”
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